April is Autism Awareness Month, a time to shine a light on the stories, challenges, and triumphs of individuals on the autism spectrum. In honor of this important month, we had the privilege of speaking with Kim Reider, a dedicated mother and content creator, who shared her personal journey raising her son, who has autism. Through her story, Kim offers valuable insights, advice, and a powerful reminder of the importance of acceptance, understanding, and inclusion in our communities.
1 . Can you tell me a little bit about yourself, your son Caden, and your family?
My name is Kim! I am married to my high school sweetheart, we live in NEPA and together have 3 beautiful children. Our oldest is Callie and then we have two boys, Jackson and Caden. I am a stay at home mom and we’re also a homeschool family, which has been such a blessing, especially because last year, Caden was diagnosed with autism and severe global delays. He does best at home in his own environment, and he has therapy in our house multiple times a week. I’m very fortunate that my husband works so hard to make sure I can stay home and take care of our children.
2. What was Caden’s journey with autism? What were some first signs before a diagnosis?
Our journey to autism probably isn’t like most. Caden was born prematurely, so from the very beginning, we were told to expect him to be delayed, about 6-8 weeks behind on all of his milestones. He did everything late, he didn’t even start to crawl until he was 10 months old. It took a while for it to click that we were seeing more than “delays from being born early.” We started to realize something was wrong around his second birthday; at this point, he still isn’t talking. He didn’t have any communication skills, either receptive or expressive, meaning not only was he not communicating with us, but he also wasn’t understanding communication. He didn’t follow directions, didn’t respond to his name. He just didn’t seem to understand the world around him.
Caden has always been happy, we are very lucky on that front that we do not struggle with severe meltdowns and aggression. On the flip side of that, though, subtle happiness was the only emotion he showed. He didn’t express excitement, joy, fear, anger.. he was just “here.” It was as if nobody was home behind his eyes. He was present, but he wasn’t in our world, he lived in his own.
Like most autistic children, there started to be more and more signs as the months went on. Even now that he’s almost 4, he is constantly developing new characteristics, and current traits are getting stronger, one of which is repetitive movements. He runs back and forth while flapping his arms, jumping, and making vocal noises. This is his most-used stim. It can last 5 minutes at a time or more than 45 minutes if he’s really overstimulated and needing regulation. For as long as I can remember, he’s been deeply obsessed with wheels. He likes to push things back and forth and back and forth. You can usually find him in the summertime outside either pushing his toy push mower or laying on the ground spinning the wheels. He’s never shown a real interest in characters or toys like other toddlers, but he absolutely loves wheels and things that move.
3. How did you initially navigate his diagnosis? What are some day-to-day experiences you encounter?
Because Caden was born early, he was automatically approved for therapy services through Early Intervention. He had therapy once a week every week before being diagnosed. I remember his therapist at that time really didn’t think he would fall on the spectrum, that he was just severely delayed, but I can’t explain it other than I just knew. I knew deep in my bones that our son had autism. It was an overwhelming gut instinct. Sometimes I felt crazy, I questioned if I was exaggerating our struggles in my own head. A lot of people see this toddler who is a little weird, but he’s cute, he has bright blue eyes and always seems happy, so of course he can't be autistic. The stereotype for autism is very real, and the spectrum is so broad. Autism doesn’t have a look. There is a big misconception that all autistic children are unhappy and aggressive, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Autism isn’t a disability that can be categorized like that. All individuals have their own struggles, differences, and yes, they do share similarities too but they aren’t identical.
Right after Caden turned 3, we took him for a formal evaluation at our closest autism clinic. We left that appointment with an autism diagnosis, and I felt so relieved. Like I said, I knew it, I knew it deep in my bones, so for me, this was validation. A lot of parents receive this diagnosis and are devastated, but for us, it was a relief. A diagnosis opens doors that are otherwise closed. There are certain therapies and services that can really help autistic children and their families, but without that diagnosis, you don’t have access to those services.
4. How did your son's autism affect his sleeping patterns? Did the nursery play a role in helping manage those patterns? Are those patterns being affected by the new room setup?
Sleep is something that’s always been hit or miss for us with Caden. He will normally sleep pretty well if we keep to a strict schedule and routine. He actually never had a nursery. I breastfed him the first two years so he was always in our room. When he got his first toddler bed, we had to put it in our room. This was for his comfort but also mine because of the eloping. One night, he managed to get out of our bedroom, open and unlock all of the doors and baby gates, get down the stairs, unlocked all of the locks on the back door, and go outside. It was in the middle of the night, and it was one of the scariest moments of my entire life. It took me a long time to feel comfortable to move him into a shared room with his brother Jackson. He’s been in his own big boy room with his brother for about a month now and hasn’t made a full night yet, but he’s getting a lot better! He still wakes up and comes to find me, but we’re working on it. He’s lasting longer and longer each night. We are staying persistent and consistent, and we have the house locked up like Armageddon, so he’s not getting out!
5. Can you outline the support systems and communities that have been most helpful for you, your son and your family?
A lot of the support I’ve found has actually been online! There are so many amazing moms and organizations that I’ve found through social media. Some of our biggest supporters are friends I’ve made through content creation. It was also through Instagram that I found the Channings Joy Foundation. They sell autism acceptance clothing, and the funds go into an account that is donated to autism families. They help provide AAC devices for nonverbal children, funds for therapy etc. It is an incredible foundation with wonderful community behind it. When it comes to local support we honestly do not have much outside of our son's therapists. My biggest support system is my husband. Caden is very blessed to have a dad like him. He has broken all of the typical dad stereotypes and has stepped up in every way to educate himself and be the best advocate for our son, and then, of course our family is as supportive as they can be. Caden is the first person with autism in our family, so they are all learning right along with us.
Other Organizations
● BLaST IU: https://www.iu17.org
6. How do you use your platform as a space for other moms to relate and retain a sense of community?
When I first created @thereiderfam on Instagram it was mostly for fun and to show off the kids' outfits. Very quickly, I knew I wanted to do more with it. I wanted to create content and also share our real-life experiences along the way. When Caden was diagnosed, I found myself watching so many different forms of autism content on social media. I related to these moms/content creators, and some of their stories really helped me. I knew I wanted do the same, I wanted to be authentic and share our journey from our highs and lows, sharing what works for us and what doesn’t. I stumbled across a lot of content on social media where autism moms are telling you they helped their child with their autism, but they charge you for their knowledge. I strive to be the opposite of that. I know what it’s like to be the mom crying in the car praying her 3-year-old will say “mommy” for the first time. Whenever I find anything that actually is helping Caden I share it immediately and for free. I recently have started to get messages from moms thanking me for sharing these things and talking about autism openly. Those messages mean the absolute world to me. I hope that when parents find our Instagram, they can relate. I hope they feel seen, to know they aren’t alone and everything they are feeling is completely valid. The autism community is one I’m proud to be apart of. It’s a community full of parents, both moms and dads, who advocate, research, and celebrate all of our kids accomplishments. Everyone is so kind and supportive, which is exactly what I hope to be for new autism parents who find us.
Thank you, Kim and the Reider family, for sharing your family's powerful story with us. Your openness and insight into your child's experience with autism is so valuable, and we deeply appreciate your willingness to raise awareness. As we approach Autism Awareness Month, let us continue to support and uplift individuals and families on this journey.